The majority of sex offenders groom their victims, this can take many months, even years, and often begins with the process of grooming the parents of the child.

The paedophile may recognize that a family were having difficulty in managing the logistics and finances of the household and befriend them with offers of assistance, both financial and in kind. Eventually having gained the trust of the parent the offender then offers to baby sit or take the child on outings during which time he then moves on to begin the process of grooming the child victim.

This part of the grooming process is the most crucial. The paedophile knows that he has to be able to control the child to the extent that he can sexually abuse him or her with the knowledge that the child will not disclose to another adult the fact that they have been sexually abused.

This control is obtained in many different ways, fear, oppression, favours, threats against either the child or their parent, making the child feel guilty about what has happened or by using a combination of these methods.

A typical example of how a paedophile operates would be the initial identification of a vulnerable parent who has either one or a number of children. It may be a single mother who having gone through an acrimonious divorce has had to move to accommodation that is smaller or of a lesser standard than her and the children are used to residing in. Family finances are stretched and there is less money available in the household for food, clothing and leisure activities.

Once the new family unit is stable, the paedophile will then make his move, typically he may as part of his grooming process slowly introduced the family into accepting communal nudity within the home by, for example, leaving bathroom doors open whilst in use.

Eventually the paedophile will sexually abuse his victim, he will have perfected a strategy to ensure their silence utilizing one or a number of the methods previously outlined.

In this example it isn’t difficult to comprehend the dilemma that the child has been put in. Her mother has found a new partner in life, she is very happy, the paedophile will have told his victim that if she ‘tells’ then he will go to prison, there will be no extra money coming into the household, there will be no more nice holidays for her and her mother. Her mother won’t believe her and will not love her anymore as a result. In order to protect her mothers happiness and the new family the victim remains silent.

This example is typical of how a paedophile may identify and ultimately abuse a child anywhere in the world, however, there are many other scenarios which could be used to describe how paedophiles infiltrate families, communities or organizations with the sole intent of sexually abusing children.

I must point out that the end result of grooming is usually a victim who genuinely beleives, like the paedophile, that they are completely comfortable, willing and happy... however the victims subconscious may tell a different story.